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Badass Alert – James T. Kirk March 18, 2010

Posted by 10fourteen in Badasses.
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I was talking to this girl the other day and she decided to take a cheap shot at my love for Star Trek.  I have been known to be a closet trekkie but it’s for a good reason.  Regardless of my reasons, I started to think why was it so sweet?  The answer is one of the most ultimate badasses himself, James Tiberius Kirk.  Don’t get me wrong I have mad love for Jean-Luc Picard, I mean I grew up on The Next Generation how could I not?  When it comes down to it though I don’t know many more badasses in space other than the Captain of the USS Enterprise NCC-1701, Jim Kirk.  There are no laws or rules in space and in the end of any fight you better believe it was Kirk coming out on top… with your girl.

This was the Wild West of space and Jim Kirk was the fucking sheriff.  Not only was he the sheriff but he was the deputy, chief, judge, executioner, ya daddy, and God as far as everyone was concerned.  Mother fuckers paid homage to Kirk.  He was the real deal and I’m not even exaggerating.  You put Kirk down on the surface of an alien planet and you better believe he was coming back with no less than 24 scalps, friendly or foe, that’s just how he rolled. He would get so tired of human women being thrown his way that he would pick a fight with an alien ship, destroy it, go to their home planet, backhand its ruler (after boning his wife), all to become an alien prisoner just so he could scope potential prospects to take back with him.

It was rumored that Kirk was into UFC at a young age because of his crazy ass fighting style.  His style was a cross between kung fu, badass, and pure ruthlessness.  He set out into space with the thought that he had to represent ALL of humanity.  So regardless of how bloodied, and fucked up he was, he found a way to judo chop, roundhouse, eye gouge, or drop kick any alien fucker to their demise. If Jim Kirk thought you looked at him wrong he would not only kill you on the spot, but he’d take your bitch, blow up your ship, and then raise your son so that he grew up to hate you and the idea of his own race.  I don’t know why he did these things, oh wait, because he’s Jim Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise and he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.

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